Beth and I just saw a really good movie Tuesday night. “Fireproof” is about Caleb, a fire chief (played by Kirk Cameron of “Growing Pains” fame) who is a hero to everyone in his small town except his own wife, Kathryn, who has gradually lost respect for him over their seven years of marriage. As you watch the movie, you understand why. Caleb felt he worked so hard at his job he was entitled to some indulgence at home. So he saved all his money for his dream boat, and ignored Kathryn’s requests for things she wanted.
One night, everything blew up in an argument, and Kathryn tearfully said she wanted out. That brought Caleb to his senses, and, with the help of his father, he embarked on a 40 day challenge called “The Love Dare,” to try to win back Kathryn’s love and save their marriage.
What finally happened? You’ll have to see the movie for yourself. (Maybe we’ll show it for a couples night when it comes out on DVD.) But the film left Beth and I with many thoughts. Here are two.
- In a marriage, bad habits, addictions, and false gods hurt two, not just one. In the midst of “The Love Dare” challenge, Caleb, who was starting to change, found himself looking at his dream boat on the internet, when a pop up leading to a pornographic web site appeared. Before, Caleb hadn’t seen any problem with viewing pornography. He knew it hurt Kathryn, but he saw it as her problem, not his. But now things were different. He sat in front of the computer screen struggling for a long time, looking at his two false gods – the boat and the inviting young girl – two symbols of his self-centeredness. They were getting in the way of putting His wife (and God) first, and he knew it. I won’t tell you what he did – it would ruin the scene for you. But Christian men (and women) need to attack and destroy all false gods. False gods carry with them the lie that they can be present in a satisfying marriage, or even more deceiving, that they can somehow improve it. However, they put up a wall that makes full love and intimacy impossible. Get rid of your false gods that get in the way of your marriage, and see if you don’t find a fully relationship with your spouse.
- A husband and wife never stop learning about each other. On the wedding day, most have a high school education on their spouse. But we need to resolve to learn more. We need to follow it up with a college degree, masters, and Ph. D. In other words, we never stop studying our spouses, so that we can respond to their needs, kindle their hopes, and walk with them as they pursue their dreams.
See the movie if you can. It’s the third (and many say best) attempt by the Kendrick brothers, who also produced “Flywheel” and “Facing the Giants.” Associate pastors of a large church in Georgia, they pursued their dream of making movies with themes that unapologetically point people to Jesus Christ.
After an overwhelming response from movie goers, you can find “The Love Dare,” along with other marriage enriching resources, at the ministry website connected to the movie - www.fireproofmymarriage.com.
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